A man dies and goes to hell. He sees Ahmadinejad dancing with Jennifer Lopez.
The man asks, “Is this Ahmadinejad’s punishment?”
“No” is the reply. “It is Jennifer Lopez’s punishment.”

Women are like an internet VIRUS: They ENTER ur life, SCAN ur pocket, TRANSFER ur money, EDIT ur mind, DOWNLOD their problems, DELETE ur smile and HANG u 4ever!!!

Love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”. Hey! Don’t get excited, I love other alphabets too…v, w, x, y, z

I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark!

Hey, I may be fat, but you’ll always be ugly, and I can diet.

Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, don’t get angry u’In ll find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! ha!

I’ve been arrested for being the ugliest person in Britain, can u cum down the police station and show them it’s a mistake?

It’s important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It’s also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the
other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a physician got on and took
the aisle seat next to the two attorneys. The physician kicked off his shoes,
wiggled his toes and was settling in when the attorney in the window seat said,
“I think I’ll get up and get a coke.” Continue Reading »

What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!

What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers? Sorority girls cost less per score.

A man and his wife are driving down the highway having a fight over the husband sleeping with another woman. The wife takes out a knife and cuts of the mans penis and throws it out the window. The penis splats onto the windshield of the car that is following and rolls off. The 14 year old girl riding with her dad says “What was that Dad?” The father says “It was just a bug honey”. The daughter replies “Wow Dad, that bug sure had a big dick”.