This butcher lived in an apartment over his shop. One night he was awakened by strange noises coming from below, so he tiptoed downstairs and saw his 19-year-old daughter sitting on the chopping block and masturbating with a liverwurst. The butcher sighed and tiptoed back to bed. The next morning, when a customer walked in and asked for some liverwurst, the butcher said that he didn’t have any left. The customer was really annoyed; she pointed to the corner of the shop and asked, “No liverwurst? Well, what’s that hanging on the hook right over there?” The butcher frowned at her. “That”, he replied, “is my son-in-law.”

In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.

A dejected Communist Party candidate trudges home after the polls close. “So, Marek, how many votes did you get?” asks his wife. “Two,” he responds. She slaps him hard across the face. “What was that for?” “You have a mistress, now do you!!?”

Two men were driving down a city street, as they approach a red stop light,
the man driving speeds up and drives through a red light.
Shocked, the passenger yells, “What are you doing!”
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‘Can you explain to me how this lipstick got on your collar?’ the suspicious wife sneered.
‘No, I can’t,’ the husband replied. ‘I distinctly remember taking my shirt off.’

A small boy is sent to bed by his father… Continue Reading »

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. Continue Reading »

I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday. Tevery day!

He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppydisk into her hotmail she screamed yahoo!

(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!