A man dies and goes to hell. He sees Ahmadinejad dancing with Jennifer Lopez.
The man asks, “Is this Ahmadinejad’s punishment?”
“No” is the reply. “It is Jennifer Lopez’s punishment.”

Women are like an internet VIRUS: They ENTER ur life, SCAN ur pocket, TRANSFER ur money, EDIT ur mind, DOWNLOD their problems, DELETE ur smile and HANG u 4ever!!!

Love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”. Hey! Don’t get excited, I love other alphabets too…v, w, x, y, z

I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark!

Hey, I may be fat, but you’ll always be ugly, and I can diet.

A woman married a 1 legged man
She wrote 2 hr mothr
‘My husband only has
ONE FOOT’
Hr Mothr replied
‘Ur lucky, ur dad has
ONLY 5 INCHES’

Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, don’t get angry u’In ll find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! ha!

I’ve been arrested for being the ugliest person in Britain, can u cum down the police station and show them it’s a mistake?

It’s important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It’s also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

A Women’s life is vry hard.
Mrng - wash clothes
Noon - dry clothes
Evening - iron clothes
Night - remove clothes
Late midnight - search for clothes.

Shaving Private Ryan.
Position Impossible.
As Big As it Gets.
Forest Hump.
Riding Miss Daisy.
Starwhores.

A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly. Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!